This is Eglentyne

 

I am Dani Smith, sometimes known as Eglentyne.  I am a writer.  There, I said it.  Phew.  

This blog is one of my hobbies.  I also knit, sew, run, parent, cook, eat, read, and procrastinate.  I have too many hobbies and don't sleep enough.

I like my beer and my chocolate dark and bitter.

The title up there makes it sound like this is a knitting blog.  And it is.  Sometimes.  Ok, every once in a while.  Mostly I talk about whatever is on my mind, which is sometimes knitting, but more often is reading and writing.  Something Knitty was the name of the first novel I ever tried to write.    

I put together the images and the words on these pages with thoughtfulness and love (not to mention sleeplessness and sweat).  If you would like to quote small passages, please feel free to do so as long as you attribute them to me and link back to this site.  If you would like to repost large sections or whole posts, please contact me for permission and verification.  I can be reached via Twitter (@eglentyne) or by email (eglentyne at gmail dot com).  

Thank you for respecting my intellectual property and for promoting the free-flow of information and ideas.  If you're not respecting intellectual property, then you're stealing.  Don't be a stealer.  Steelers are ok sometimes (not all of them), but I really don't like thieves.  

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    Entries in Why I would not be a happy drug addict (9)

    Sunday
    Aug152010

    The Power of the Love Story

    A quote too long for Twitter:

    "It is perhaps only in reading a love story (or in writing one) that we can simultaneously partake of the ecstasy and agony of being in love without paying a crippling emotional price.  I offer this book, then, as a cure for lovesickness and an antidote to adultery.  Read these love stories in the safety of your single bed. Let everybody else suffer."  

    Jeffrey Eugenides, Introduction, My Mistress's Sparrow is Dead

    Wednesday
    Aug262009

    Of Skull-squeezing and Maturity

    I ran down the street this morning trying to convince myself that I wanted to run.  I didn't want to run, but I was doing it anyway.  I had a perfectly reasonable argument about why it would have been better to sleep an extra forty-five minutes.  On this morning, like the past several mornings of running, a song popped into my head.  "That's How People Grow Up" by Morrissey, delivered with irony, but true nonetheless.  Maturity may represent those moments when we do things even though we don't want to.  

    That sounds more skeptical than I mean it to sound.  I was really pondering self-reliance at the moment the song came to me.  I was considering whether I could rely upon myself to take care of myself.  A blog post yesterday by Jamie Ridler inspired the rumination.  A number of different people rely upon me to do things in any given day.  My children, my partner, other family, friends, teachers, neighbors.  I think I'm fairly trustworthy.  But it has often been the case that I sacrifice my own personal goals and intentions in order to fulfill the needs of others.  This is natural for me, and to a certain extent necessary, as a fully-functioning member of a family and society, but it grates upon me sometimes.  

    Another song often occurs to me in those moments of frustration with the world and myself, also Morrissey, singing "Something is Squeezing My Skull," delivered with the charming aplomb of the chronic depressive putting on a good show.  

    I've heard some people say, skeptically, that if you don't take care of yourself no one will.  I don't completely agree with this sentiment, but it is true for my personal goals and intentions.  If I don't run, no one will run for me (and what good would that do?).  If I don't run, no one will force me to run (and I'd resent it if they did).  I could substitute other intentions for running: writing, updating this website, thinking.  If I can't trust myself to take care of myself physically and emotionally, that could at some point undermine other people's trust in me. 

    So when Morrissey chides me about maturity, I can take it.  Lately I've motivated myself with the idea that the morning run is to scrub and tighten.  I scrub out my asthmatic lungs and the fog from my brain.  I tighten up my bones and heart and will.  When I think that way, the skull-squeezing lessens, and so does fear in all of its insidious permutations (Will my work be good enough? Will someone jump out from behind that bush and harm me?)  

    I've written before that I was inspired to return to running by Haruki Murakami's memoir about running.  When Murakami talks about running, it is both literal running, and a metaphor for what he can accomplish in himself, and what limits him.  When I talk about running, I am staking out a space in my life for self-reliance.  I can and will take care of myself, physically and mentally.  Don't ever doubt that running is just as much about my mental health as it is about my physical health.  When my life is frustrating, or the skull-squeezing starts, I run away.  I run away just long enough for the endorphins to kick in, and then I can run back, confident that I can handle anything that comes along because I have taken care of myself.  

    When the endorphins kicked in this morning, I did enjoy myself.  Being prickled by maturity is perhaps a good thing.  It's when I'm prickled by the skull-squeezing that I know it's time to run. 

    Wednesday
    Oct012008

    I have a tendency to Over-Do

    In case you hadn't noticed.  


    I over-do with knitting, and sewing and teacher-gifts and occasionally cooking.  A couple of months ago, I declared this ridiculous to do list.  Look, here's another thing finished! (The socks, not the child)

     

    Those are the new, Hogwarts-inspired, Sonar X3 socks.  I finished one of the shirts mentioned in that post, the other is half-finished.  The other two were cancelled due to a glut of long-sleeved dress shirts.  The Partner Hoodie is done.  The three stealth projects are done.  

    I have finished one Deployment sock.  BIL has commenced to being less than familial, and as much as I'd like these socks to be about his service and sacrifice and not about his contribution to our family.... Well, let me just say that a lot of my emotions (and time) go into the things I make for people, and when I'm feeling particularly Not Good about someone, let's just say that it makes it hard to knit for that person.  But that is one seriously cool sock.  There is a chance that a joke I made about finishing them for Partner, rather than for BIL, was recently misconstrued. But I digress.  

    The Mystery Stole is about 1/3 finished.  I love it.  I love making it.  But it requires quiet and concentration, both of which have been in short supply here lately.  It goes on, bit by bit.  

    The Urban Aran, Cardiganized is still in the dreaming stages.  

    That shopping bag, though not on the list, also managed to sneak into the knitting queue.  It is, as mentioned in a recent post, finished.  

    I cast on Kilt Hose *this morning* in the vain hope that I can finish them by early to mid-November.  I'm using Chasing Bunny's very lovely pattern for Professor Moody's Kilt Hose (because we just can't seem to escape dear Harry around here, ever).  

    The sanity of that November goal is in question, especially since, right now, I'm in the midst of Halloween Crafting.  I love Halloween.  I think it is a good opportunity to let your imagination run wild and then see if you can make some reality out of it, even if it's only an approximation.  The educational institution that the elder two sonars attend has, rather cleverly I think, for several years held a Storybook Character Parade on October 31.  Children are invited to choose a character from a book, dress up as that character, and sashay around the campus before the flashbulbs of an adoring set of parents, books in hand.  Various literary and pseudo-literary activities ensue.  This allows any Halloween controversies to evaporate.  

    The Sonars, being such imaginative little buggers--er, I mean, darlings, have come up with several lovely ideas.  

    Sonar X8 has been inspired by Cornelia Funke's When Santa Fell to Earth to be, well, Niklas Goodfellow (you might know him better by another name, ahem, Santa).  I dug around in the cupboard and came out with several yards of red felt gifted by a neighbor a while back.  He now has a coat and pants.  Also in the cupboard, some black and red neoprene and fleece, which became spats to resemble big black boots.  Hat will follow.  There will be no beard.  

    Sonar X5 had toyed with Animalia by Graeme Base for some time, hoping first to be a Great Green Gorilla Growing Grapes in a Gorgeous Glass Greenhouse, then later to be a Zany Zebra Zig-zagging in a Zinc Zeppelin.  Thankfully (I wasn't looking forward to using or approximating fur, or stripes) we later came across Enigma, by the same author, and a fascination with a magician has ensued.  It's going to take me just as long to put this costume together, but it's a bunch of small things rather than one big complicated (hot) costume, and it can all be done with fabric I have that isn't a pain in the butt to sew with.  A vest and pants (done).  A bow tie (awaiting tying).  A cape.  A hat (half-finished) complete with "bunny" trick).  

    Sonar X3 also started with Animalia.  He was totally fixed on being a Lazy Lion Lounging in the Local Library.  I have made a lion-ish suit before.  A simple lion-colored hoodie with great loops of felt sewn to the hood.  Unfortunately we no longer have it.  Still, it wouldn't have been too hard, especially after I found half a bolt of upholstery fabric in another neighbor's trash that was just about the right color to be a lion-y.  But then, we started talking.  We started looking at books.  We started looking at patterns.  And lo, we will soon have the White Rabbit.  Yes, That White Rabbit.  Before you start hyperventilating about fur rearing its ugly head again, know that I'm making only the rabbit's head, and with white double-nap flannel rather than fur.  And no, it won't cover his face.  He's three.  I don't think that would be wise.  Or cute.  To go with this wonderous head, there will be a vest and of course, a pocket watch.  

    What?  For me?  Well, I don't have much reason to wear a costume, except that there *is* a home football game on Halloween night here.  And I think it would be a shame to pass up the opportunity to do some small thing.  So there's a very good chance I'll break out my pink Hallowig and put on the Hawaiian dress.  If it's not too windy.  Pictures will surely ensue should that take place.  


    We bought a few apples yesterday.  Six different varieties to be exact.

    Friday
    Aug082008

    Progress at the Flame

    At 7:00 a.m. GMT -5 (my local time), when the Olympic Opening Ceremonies began in Beijing, I was sleeping.  Partner Sweater had one completed sleeve and one 4-inch sleeve nubbin.  


    At 6:30 pm. GMT -5, when the Olympic Opening Ceremonies began on our local NBC affiliate, that second sleeve was this long:



    If you embiggen the photo, you'll see that I've just a bit over 13 inches there.  I had to slow down today.  No more than 15 minutes of knitting at a stretch, with at least a half an hour rest in between.  I'm working to stave off long-term knitting injury here.  Liberal icing has also occurred.  

    There will be more knitting tonight.  And there is the slimmest chance of finishing before I go to bed.  Maybe.  

    Peeking out of the pocket is the next project.  Stealth Project I, a felted lovely made with one of my favorite stand-by yarns, Patons Classic Wool.  They call that color Leaf Green, but it looks a bit like overcooked pea soup to me.  

    Thursday
    Aug072008

    What day is it?



    I'm feeling a little dizzy.  I think I'll just go lie down.